she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
