is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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