So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
