I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
