so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
