I don't think brook has ever known best
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
