i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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