I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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