I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
