so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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