Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize