Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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