I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
