I wanna bring you to show and tell
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
