Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
