Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
