he was CRYING into my vagina
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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