dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
