Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
