I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
