He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
