I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
