Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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