i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
