So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
