Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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