Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
