Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
