Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
