I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
