Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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