I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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