you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
