Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Randomize
