New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
