just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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