just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
