Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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