I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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