Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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