are you still at the devil's house?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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