How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
