At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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