I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
