honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
ugly people sure do ruin things
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she peed on how many people?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
