You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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