It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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