I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
