my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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