dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize