seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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