You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize