I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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