i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
