so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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