my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
