Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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