is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
