K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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