Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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