people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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