we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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