none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
