I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dicks are not precious.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
