break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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