Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize