just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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