who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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