Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You're like the curious george of whores
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
